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Bitches and bastards and pain and rejection and stupid asshole hearts that run away without permission and then get themselves smashed to bits.
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Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ...

2 - the Helper

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").

"I must help others"

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Being a TWO

being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
What's Hard About Being a TWO

not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
feeling drained from overdoing for others
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

TWOs as Children Often

are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
are outwardly compliant
are popular or try to be popular with other children
act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)

TWOs as Parents

are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
are often playful with their children
wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
can become fiercely protective

Surprisingly, this actually does sound like me...
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 He walks alone, ever alone,
with the only the shadows of the past to keep him company.
Trying to ignore that dull, shadowed pain that comes from loss
is the best way, the only way, he survives.
Another planet saved...   
One brief moment of joy...
and then he leaves. Again. 
Because, in the end
whether he is left  or does the leaving
the end result is the same.
One man alone
with hearts that are breaking
and only the memory of those he left behind 
(safe or dead, but left behind)
to ease the ache of absolute aloneness.
Current Location:
Current Mood:
Slightly heartbroken
Current Music:
Fantastic Rose
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I'm over him.

I'm OVER him.

I swear that I am over him, and have been for a long time.

But for some reason, when he told me he was single again, my heart leapt.


Maybe I'm not as over him as I thought.

He's that one boy that always gets under my skin. The guy who can make any day seem better just by standing next to me. The man who is quickly becoming everything I ever wanted him to be. My oldest friend, confidante, first love. The boy I run to when my heart is broken and I just want to hear someone say "You deserve better than that jerk." I don't think he even knows what he means to me. And I think maybe I should keep it that way. Unknown, unrequited love is better than rejected love. At least with unknown love, you can still dream.

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 Lately I've been struggling a lot with certain things. Family, friends, God, work... everything has seemed to either fall apart or come together at once. The boy that I did like (see Alex? I'm over him!) is now mostly in love with my sister. Honestly, most of my problems seem to center around my sister. I love her to death, but she's just so... there aren't even words. She is beautiful and vivacious and gregarious - and every single boy I have ever liked has fallen for her at some point. It is hard.... but I've recently decided that I can't be bitter about it. It only hurts me and my relationships to be bitter and angry about it. I can only hope that someday I'll meet a guy who doesn't fall for her first... or start ignoring me for her. I think at the root of everything is the fact that I am jealous of her... and I know that that is wrong, but I just can't seem to help myself. She is like a better, more accomplished, prettier version of me... and I have to see her every day, and know that I will never be that good. And it sucks.
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One day, a young lady became bored. So she did something drastic - she started a live journal account. Who knows what will become of her? And what will become of the account? Will they both go the way of xanga and the other blogs that no one uses anymore? We shall see!

Current Mood:
amused amused
Current Music:
Bad Little Girl - Alana Grace
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